The Fall of a Pear

Each year as they grew up,
we would plan what costumes to wear,
and when they came home from school most days,
I had baked fresh cookies for us to share.

We would decorate the house with tons of little things,
and sitting around the supper table,
hearing their stores of the day,
was in my ear, a beautiful ring.

Homecoming mums I made for them,
and their friends, would said like a pro,
and I always smiled hearing them tell all,
“my moms the best you know”.

Football games we always went,
there were a special two,
homecoming and north vs. south,
my kids were engraved,
with the fall spirit I had to them issued.

Friends they always invited to come over,
or even spend the night,
as they always said they had the coolest home,
and mom of all time.

My son was my best Friend,
he was always by my side,
he was my biggest fan,
he made life fun, loving me with nothing to hide.

Though fall was always the favorite,
for all my kids just like me,
Bryan was a little different,
he was like my twin, and extension of me.

and when they all had grown up,
moving on their separate ways,
it was Bryan who remembered to come home,
for cookies and a football game.

He loved my school jacket,
having all that pride in his way,
and he would always ask to wear it,
during Autumn time days.

This is only a touch,
of all the memories that lay within my heart,
and today, with each bite of this pear,
I cry so very hard.

Everything, it has changed,
and I feel sometimes completely lost,
my Bryan is here no more,
those times are gone like dying fall moss.

Its always been just me and my kids,
we were a family, no matter what,
and though I was a single parent,
they were never without a home or unloved.

But it was Bryan as they grew older,
that kept the family from moving too far apart,
and now that he is gone,
I have to fight that feeling, that all is lost.

He was always right here by my side,
even until the very end,
and I feel so alone since he has gone,
dear God I wish I could have him back,
even for a minute once again.

I’m trying so hard to keep my head above water,
to not let my precious son down,
to keep the family going,
to make him proud of his mom.

So with each bite of this pear,
that I ate harder,
gobbling I did pray,
that it would take me back to when my little family was alive,
back to yesterday.

My saudade since the day I buried him,
has hit me everyday, but today,
with the taste of this pear,
the taste of Autumn,
it has become ever more great.

The commercials say life is a game, so play it, live it,
and I say this is terribly wrong,
For life is not a game, it is a precious gift,
and sometimes,
oh how I wish,
I didn’t have move on……

From the soul of a mother