As we age, grief will become an inevitable part of our lives. The only certain thing in life is death, and when that comes, grief is to be experienced by the surviving family members. Grief is commonly followed after one experiences a loss of a loved one (Bigelow, 2010). The elderly, in particular, experience grief more frequently than their younger counterpart as they, their spouse, and friends tends to be closer to the end of their lives (Williams, 2005). Grief, after the death of a spouse, can be categorized into five stages and tends to be very distressing on the surviving spouse (Harvard Mental Health Letter, 2011). However, there are active steps such as exercise and social support that older widows and widowers can take in order to rebuild their lives.
The Harvard Mental Health Letter (2011) believes that grief can best be characterized through Dr. Kubler-Ross’s extensive work on death and the grieving process. According to the Harvard Mental Health Letter (2011), Dr Kubler-Ross’s work classifies grieving of a loved one into five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. After the death of a loved one, it can be very difficult for one to find solace; this is especially true for elders as they may experience the death of a spouse, friends, or siblings more frequently (Williams, 2005). Dr. Kubler-Ross’s work on grief is very universal, as the variety of emotions that people feel after they lose a loved one can be categorized in at least one of her stages (Harvard Mental Health Letter, 2011).
The loss of a spouse can be traumatic on anyone; however, Jonathon Williams Jr. (2005) found that the death of an elderly spouse increases morbidity, psychological morbidity, and depression in the surviving spouse. Williams (2005) also concluded that after the death of a spouse, the occurrence of depressive symptoms is one of the most common effects on a surviving spouse, especially in older adults as most of their life was wrapped up in their marriage. There is a 32% rate of depression at six months after a loss of a spouse and 27% rate of depression at 12 months after the death of a spouse, and in most instances, the depression lasted over a month (Williams, 2005). Depression in the elderly is even more dangerous than depression in the younger generation, as older adults who are suffering from depression for four years or more have a 50% higher risk of mortality in both men and women (Williams, 2005). Furthermore, depression and bereavement increases the chances of cardiac mortality rates, which William’s references as death from a broken heart, otherwise known as coronary heart disease (Williams, 2005). Williams (2005) also concluded that the mortality rate increased among healthy, older men with no known illnesses who lost their spouse, and are twice as likely to die compared to healthy, older men who are not grieving. The loss of a spouse can have lasting, detrimental effects on anyone; however, grief and bereavement in the elderly is especially difficult and can be a gateway to serious health problems.
Although the idea of finding solace may feel out of reach for some widows and widowers, one should know that it may be easier to achieve this than one thinks. Jodi Schneider (2003) is passionate to find ways for elderly widows and widowers to combat their depression and loneliness after the passing of a spouse, and strongly advocates immersing oneself in a social activity and beginning to exercise. Exercise not only contributes to one’s health and wellbeing, but it is also shown to provide positive physical effects on older, lonely adults who are in need of social support or a social outlet (Schneider, 2003). Schneider (2003) believes that exercise is even more important for the elderly who are mourning than it is for the younger demographics. Deborah Bigelow (2010) strongly believes that reaching out to others and honoring their spouse’s memory will provide one with comfort and peace. Having an active social support network is very important for older adults who just lost a spouse, as most of their life was spent with their husband or wife (Williams, 2005). When their spouse passes, it is important that they regain a sense of friendship and companionship with other people, may it be with family or friends (Williams 2005). Grieving the death of a spouse may be the hardest thing that one will ever have to cope with, but finding comfort and peace can be reached through exercise and the support of family and friends.
Grief is a very difficult emotion to cope with, especially in the elderly as their spouse and friends are closer to the end of their lives. Although the death of a spouse can be very saddening, it is important to find comfort in friends and family. Grief, after the death of a spouse, can be categorized into five stages and tends to be very distressing on the surviving spouse; however, there are steps in which older widows and widowers can take in order to find solace.
References
Beyond the five stages of grief. (2011). Harvard Mental Health Letter, 28(6), 3.
Bigelow, D. (2010). The Widower’s Toolbox: Repairing Your Life After Losing Your Spouse. Library Journal, 135(3), 103.
Schneider, J. (2003). COPING WITH A SPOUSE’S DEATH. U.S. News & World Report, 134(19), 58.
Williams Jr., J. R. (2005). Depression as a Mediator Between Spousal Bereavement and Mortality from Cardiovascular Disease: Appreciating and Managing the Adverse Health Consequences of Depression in an Elderly Surviving Spouse. Southern Medical Journal, 98(1), 90-95.