until i forget
how do you choose the words
for souls who have to endure and breathe
under skylights and winds of deaths and losses?
i do not really know
save that i have seen people
young and restless, old and waiting
always harvested by fate and chance
true, we never really knew each other
never found enough time to share
all those things that make
strangers and friends bind far beyond blood
and we never will
except, for memories that linger
those seconds, minutes, hours
those days, month, and years
even a lifetime it seems is never enough
for us who have discovered the joys of living
at times disregarding
the fate born with our first breath
but the memories do linger
the shared coin paid in full
for the hungry conversations
bread and wine shared together
afternoon strolls on the beach
or sharing gentle silence with four eyes
gazing at the beautiful night sky
death and losses is the high price
paid for the act of breathing
so many ways for living as for the act of dying
no one can claim one is a tragedy
while the other is just a moment
be it seeing the last blade of light and life
or losing the warmth and sanctuary of woman’s love
there is only that hole within a whole
darkness with darkness
because there is more to death
than just the absence of one’s breath.
perhaps there is a promised land
after we are cut from this mortal coil
even if only to balance the act of slow
everydays where we are good as dead
to those who are still breathing
no, i do deny there is hope, yet
just as i am not blind to despair.
because going on with death and losses
is difficult, complex, and at times simple
as craving to be still and absent
i too, sometimes, wished i had died
but the memories do linger
her gaze that held me close in her space
her smiles that were my stars and sun
her voice as she spoke my name the wind
filled with the scent of flowers and seas
and as long as i can remember
i will breathe and live
until i forget.
