The source of my life is a unique individual; my mother. Whether she is the ultimate mother or less than perfect, she is the woman who gave me life, who carried the glow of my soul within her body and brought me into this world. She left this life too soon. (From my journal)
The heart of my story is the loss of my mother when I was 12, which brought about a life that consisted at times of deep aloneness, uncertainty, loss of trust and eventually losing sight of me and who I wanted to be. I was blessed with many wonderful women in my life. However, oftentimes I did not realize how profound their presence was and is in my life until later. It seemed my spirit beckoned their presence without my knowledge. At times our friends know us better than we know ourselves. These particular women knew what was happening in my physical life but more they knew how my choices were affecting my very spirit. It is like I am standing in front of a shattered mirror that reflects a distorted person while the women I encounter on my journey see clearly who I am and love me.
There are women who remain throughout my life, others who pop in and out while still others, who share a part of their story/presence move on never to be seen or heard from again. Perhaps it isn’t that these women changed my life as so much as to help form my life. For the true reality is that I’m the only person who has the power to change myself. I’m the potter in forming my life – they at times just supply the clay. When my mother died I was just 12 so much of my life became a search for her – a woman I never truly got to know but wanted to know. The women I have encountered these many years fill in a piece like a material patch for a quilt. This warm cover embraces me with comfort – their stories make up the design and their love brings the warmth.
When I think of these wonderful women I have come to the realization that I always felt safe with them. Safe not because they had the answers but safe because they didn’t judge me, nor use their love and support with conditions. Just being safe speaks volumes for a woman like me whose life was disrupted deeply with the loss of my mother at such a young age. I find that it also isn’t an age factor – I feel very safe with my daughters and even with my granddaughters. They don’t judge me for my mistakes as a mom nor do they give their love with conditions.
All of us can be inspired by the great women of history who have achieved vast accomplishments in our world and our society. But for most of us, it is the extraordinary ordinary women we are blessed to have encountered in our lives who have left their footprints on our hearts and inspired us to live the every days of our life. They understand us, they walked similar paths and they are open to be with us when we feel lost. These women will never be asked to write their memoirs or have a movie made of their lives. And yet how empty and void our world might have been had they not lived – and more – not loved. Our world became a better place because of their presence in it.
May we all take a moment and reflect how our brokenness was made beautiful through some very special women in our lives giving honor to the history of such women by creating a unique story quilt of love, cozy and safe.