About twenty years ago I began to receive information from my Higher Self that I would not cross over at a young age but I would not live to be an old woman. I was very happy for this information except for the fact that I had to wait so long.
After my son John crossed over in May of 2014 I asked if he knew when I would also cross over. He was very reluctant to tell me at first but then decided I would deal better with my grief if I could see a finish line. He told me I would cross over at the age of 56 due to an accident. I was satisfied with this information and was able to begin to live my life again.
I began to become a little suspicious last spring. I began to suspect that my son may have found cause to lie to me about my exit point. The reason for my suspicion was that after John’s death and up until the spring of 2017, I felt that I had purpose in my life. I had a very important mission and I was damn well going to complete it. When spring arrived I began to feel that my mission was complete and I suddenly began to detach from people, places and things. I really did not notice it at first but when I did I began to wonder why I was feeling this way.
I told John that I felt I was finished with my work here but he still insisted that I would not be returning home until I reached the age of 56; however, three weeks ago my Spirit Team revealed to me that my exit point is actually much sooner. My son lied to me because he knows his mother well. I would be very excited and impatient about my return and make myself and my Spirit Team miserable with it all.
Last night I was actually able to return to that place where I could channel again. This was quite a relief because with all the stress and loneliness I have been going through over the past couple of weeks, I desperately needed the advice, input and company of those in Spirit. Those incarnated are too far and few between to help me or be of any company.
I had a discussion with my Higher Self and she told me that I am very correct in my premonition that there was something very important that the hospital missed last Friday. There is something else going on besides colitis which will assist me in returning to my true home. She said I am very good at hearing her even when I am not channeling.
She said that I did, in fact, nearly cross over on several occasions over the past two weeks. The reason I chose to keep coming back is because of my son Christian who has been in Finland for the past few months. Although, I have spoken with Christian, I have not seen him and am missing him terribly.
When John crossed over neither Christian nor I had seen him for several months and we did not get to say “goodbye”. This is a very difficult thing to live with. My son is only 19 years old and would have too many years to live with the fact that he did not have the opportunity to see his mother before she crossed over. This is why I would keep returning back to my body.
My stomach is much better now and I can eat. My problem is that I am very weak and woozy due to malnutrition. Because of this I cannot cook for myself and living in a rural area it is difficult to find a restaurant with healthy food who will deliver. It would not be a wise idea for me to drive at the moment so I have been drinking Ensure and eating lots of peanut butter but it does not seem to be working. I will be happy to never have to look at peanut butter again, I am so sick of it!
The doctor suggested I eat lots of tofu and beans but, again, I am not at the point of being able to cook for myself and Bryce has no clue what to do with tofu. I asked my sister to help me on two occasions but on both she said she could not get to my home for a few days. We live about a half an hour away from each other. I keep remembering about how after John took his life my family kept saying how they regretted they were not there for him and did not see the signs that he was in need. This regret was very short lived. This young man’s mother is now in need and very obviously asking for help. No one has the time for her.
Bryce is doing the best he can but he is only one person. He works full time and plays in a band so has rehearsals after work. He is coming over to take care of Snuggles and help around the house tonight but, again, he has no idea how to cook for someone who eats as I do.
Christian will be home soon and I desperately want to be healthy enough to enjoy time with him. I want to spend as much time with him as possible. My children and I have been robbed of so much time together over the years. I want to do things with my son and go on a vacation with him. John and I were going to do a road trip but my mother threw such a hissy fit that we never went. As you can imagine, after John crossed over I have been regretting this deeply. I won’t make the same mistake with Christian.
My Higher Self told me that if I could get proper nutrition back into my body I will be well enough to enjoy time with my youngest child but I will be crossing over shortly. She said my body cannot go on much longer with all that is going on with it. She told me I must be patient because factors tend to change and there really is no way to tell what decisions I or others will make to determine when I get to go home. – Michelle