The bottom has dropped out of the elevator floor. There is a ride. It’s called the rotor, at Kennywood Park, near Pittsburgh, Pa…..I used to adore that ride. You step in, lean against the wall and it begins to spin. As it spins faster and faster, the floor drops out and the centrifugal force keeps you up against the wall and you don’t fall, even though it feels like you will any second. I’m on that ride now. I’m not sure why I’m blogging cuz there is nothing good to say. It seems pointless to blog. You all have a set of beliefs about me and right now…everyone is so proud of my accomplishments. I however…am not. I am feeling like I’ve lost my whole life. Nothing is the same. NOTHING. NOTHING. I hate it. I am so sour right now. Sour, like a Lemonhead from the 60’s. There isn’t even anyone to talk about it with. Cuz everyone has the same agenda. Get mama better. Regardless. I’m not sure if I wanna live ….regardless. I’ve not been honest with you. I’ve been very sad for some time now. All I do is cry. I cried everyday at Anahata…and I cried while I ate my dinner last night and hours before that. Special. Eh??? Something to blog about???? No.
I wasn’t even gonna bother….cuz what’s the point? What the heck are you gonna get outta my whining? Nada. You think of me as strong. In a way, maybe so. I did quit everything. But I’m not dealing with it well. Not well at all. I just wanna curl up and go right on into depression where I am so familiar, so right at home. I don’t wanna paint. I did! Right up until I walked in the door. I will, I will. I can hear Barb fretting from here. I just need to get wrapped around this new life. At the moment….I hate it all, with a very purple passion. Very purple. And top it off….there is now only one peacock egg under Bert. One was broken and all milky yellow inside…maybe that means they’re not fertile…who knows…but while she was squawkin….I threw out the icky one and Jesse discovered another inside the zenbuggy…along with a very very large snake. I yelled at the pups for nothing. The yukky yellow is all over the other egg but it is intact and she decided it was still good so she’s sitting again.
Jesse and I went to town. I got to say goodbye to Jack in the Box. Hmmm. Good riddance, she was right…my body can’t process it and it just sits there. Hours later, I still feel it. Then we went to buy a vape pen. All out of tobacco flavor, so I have peppermint. Useless until Monday when I can get a better flavor. Yup…it’s a big ole pity party and y’all are all invited. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to….you would cry too if it happened to you. Ya…lyrics from the 50’s or so….still so accurate and relevant. I tried to whine to a guy today. He just moved to Italy. Everything is different there for him. Yup….change is everywhere and pervasive. It drips down the walls….every wall. Every wall in every country. And yes….other people have it worse than me. Indeedy they do. There’s Israel and Palestine throwing blood in the sky…….and wowie does each side have its sponsors and its supporters. By all means….lets defend such actions and call it patriotism to ones homeland. Screw that. And the elephants…well, they’ve harmed so many people…ya….so let’s just hunt them down for fun. And Malaysia….hmmm, lets all fly on Malaysian Airlines and see if we can either be blown up…or maybe we can just disappear and be held hostage for months on end. Ya…good stuff goin on folks. UgggggHHHH!. Just throw a coat over me and plunk me in the closet. I feel like there is no one to complain to. Complain? What do you have to complain about? You have a home and electricity, water, pillows…even though one just sprung a leak. Ya…I have leak springable pillows. One anyway. My chiropractic pillow. It has bitten the dust. Why not. Just more change. Sheri can take it….lets just heap on more and more. So…there you are. I went ahead and blogged against my better judgement….and you have now been privy to the worlds most ungrateful human…whining from on high. Sleepy too. I drank beer to sleep….how ironic that I quit the beer and now cannot stay awake. There is more to my sadness besides the changes….but nothing I can say out loud. Well….nothin, I got nothing else tonight. Thanks for joining me at my pity party. Hopefully the party will be over soon. Love love. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.
