Do you have that one person that always makes you feel better? The one hug that makes everything better? Just a hug. Just being in their arms knowing that they’re going to do what they have to protect you. I had that person…my dad. I miss that person every single day.
On days like today…when I’m down and out, wondering about life all I want is to be able to go to his house on my lunch break and get a hug. To say one more hug would be a lie…I want to be able to hug him whenever I want. I can’t. I won’t be able to ever again.
Not physically anyway. He comes to me I my dreams and he’ll hug me and it’s weird, but I’ll actually feel it. I wake up knowing he is still protecting me and still watching over me and knows when I need him. I miss him though. I don’t think that will ever ever change.
I hate death. I hate loss. I hate grieving. Worst of all when I miss him this much I am so very angry at God for taking him away from me without explanation. Why? Where!? Did he go peacefully? Did he think of me? Of anyone? Should I have waited to take him off life support? No, I don’t think so really I think he would have been mad at me, but then I’d rather him me angry and mad at me for having to go through rehabilitation for the second timein his life then not having him here at all.
I miss him. I miss his hugs. I miss his jokes. I miss his smile.
